For much of my life I could not understand why everyone can not see the world the way I do. I saw the world through my own eyes, and the idea that others did not have the ability to see the same world, was inconceivable. And, still I struggle with this concept. I only know what I know, and work every day to try to open my mind to how others see this world. What has become clear to me is that so many people bring awareness of things that I am unable to grasp. And that when we each can honor the others gifts, then people can shine in a way that is clear to all who are in the presence of the moments that glimmer. When I would meet people who are not capable of having the same connection to an animal that I do, I used to try to convince them that they should see the way I do. Where I stand today, it is still a struggle, but I keep telling myself every day, that only I see through my eyes or mind. No one else. Watching others find their own path to connection is so very rewarding.
So, knowing that I would put myself out in the world to potential ridicule, or limit the willingness of others to listen to what I try to share, I never spoke the words that always were in the background of my mind. What I believe to be the truth, may to others seem to be too “out there” or not grounded enough in the tactile world for some to allow themselves to take my ideas to heart. And in the end I am an advocate for the horses, so I tread a very thin line of reaching human minds and wills in a way that brings an inspired life for the horses.
There was a time when I could not understand where my words came from when I was working with a rider. I used to think I was channeling some force I did not understand. I would watch, feel, speak, and watch some more as the horses changed under the riders. So many times I had no idea where the ideas and words came from. Years of watching, and listening, to the horses, to the humans, influenced my mind in directions that sought out synergy. To watch the results and/or be on a horse that becomes synergy with a rider is unmistakable. The opposite, something which I was unable to stand with, or take part in. Smoke and mirrors, marketing, or mechanical approaches to building a horse and rider combination are of no interest to me. I never question this ability to see, only am grateful for its gift.
It is a gift, I was born this way. And when I am in the presence of someone who “gets it” as well, it is always a celebration. There are those who connect with horses on a different level. We draw other like-minded people to us like magnets. Others have gifts I admire, better communicators with people, better with numbers, better socially, so many things I am not. I have accepted that the things I am not strong with, I can let others be strong for me. I can not be all things, and believe me I have tried. Only to be frustrated and exhausted. The other word in life that is important : Acceptance…Once you get it you are free to grow.
What I have come to understand at this point, is that I do not channel some great horse training spirit, that I channel the horse standing in front of me. That I shift into a place that is “in the now” where the horse lives. That I let go of needing to place meaning on the actions or reactions we share. It is not personal, it is pure survival based. Letting go of things being personal in life is the best skill I have ever opened the door to learning. Bringing it to my everyday life is my goal.
Here is your homework for life: practice letting go. Just be. Listen to your horse every moment. Remember they are not trying to cause stress for any reason that has to do with YOU. They are surviving, which includes not letting another creature put them in a possibly dangerous situation. Taking the blame out of riding will change your life. This does not mean letting your horse be pushy or challenging. It means remembering they do it to find their own peace, to make you be strong enough that they can feel safe enough to let down their guard and relax. The result will be a trust and partnership unlike anything you know. Then try to bring that spirit to your every day life.
What is my gift, what do I see? Their souls speak to me. I can feel their place of being, where they stand in the world. I can honor that place and bring them into my world, not with words, with peacefulness, respect, and trust. Words do not describe what a gift they bring me, and my life. One I will always honor.